Wintering: Nourishing Myself with Silence
Okay, okay… here we are in the heart of summer and I am writing about wintering!! It’s not what I expected! But as the green-world spills out of cracks in the paving slabs and tumbles over my dilapidated fence, I am aware of a quiet, incongruent yet undeniable need to winter.
The Heresy project has ended and the evaluation nearly complete, stats gathered and budgets consolidated; the year-long online monthly gathering of Body, Breath and Story had its final session last week; a commission and funding grant applied for and not received, and the Big Freelance Survey read to reveal just how challenging it is to make a living in the arts right now.
Heat rises and rivers flood. All of these factors leave me with a question: how to step forward authentically and soulfully in such unknown and unknowable terrain?
Instinctively, I sense that this is not a question that will be answered swiftly or strategically in the head but will only find its answer in slow time through the body. For now, I plant this question like a seed inside myself. I notice that the soil of me is tired and hungry from much ‘producing’. It is in need of sustenance. It needs to be nourished with silence, with going slow, with mending things around the house, with family time and long walks, with being and bodying and composting; with allowing myself to be fallow for some time.
This frightens me, of course. It’s difficult to value wintering in the land of constant summer, especially as a solo parent when money is tight! But a-wintering I must go in order to find the shape of what is next. So, if events and offerings seem a bit thin at the moment, that’s why!
I will be in touch with details of events and activities as they emerge from the newly cultivated soil, and when we have firmer dates for The Witness on tour next year.